Don't lose your marbles - Make a positive difference to your life.

I've never been one to get over losing easily. In fact, I distinctly remember pushing a marble up my brother's nose as a dirty faced 8 year old because he beat me at Ker-plunk. Not that I was any good at the game, I just didn't have the patience for it.

Maybe that's what makes losing so hard to take, knowing that you didn't really have the skill to win in the first place and you are just kidding yourself to even try.......

Of course the paragraph above is absolute piffle. However, it is the same message that is played in a lot of people's minds every single time they fail. The truth is, failing should be seen as a positive, a chance to grow, an opportunity. Losing just takes you another step closer to getting it right (as long as you learn from it).

That's a lot easier said than done, I hear you cry, and you're right, but that doesn't mean we should stop trying. I can think of many things I've 'lost' throughout my life; football matches, card games, driving tests, job interviews and that special first date with Claire Martin in class 4c. At the time they all affected me in their own little way (particularly Claire Martin in class 4c, but I don't want to go into that right now), there was nothing fun about the loss and there shouldn't be. What matters is what happens afterwards.

Henry Ford once said "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right".

When I first read that quote I think I re-read it five or six times. It's not the easiest statement to make sense of, but it's one of the truest things I ever read. It sums up, for me, the fact that so many of us allow our beliefs to become our drivers and eventually these drivers become 'us'.

Stop and think about yourself and how many restrictive beliefs you have developed that are stopping you from really achieving what you want to in life. Go on, do it, stop, right now...and think.

Now consider where those beliefs came from. How much truth do they really hold? Now, now, don't start making excuses, or backing up the data with weak support...truly consider the facts of the matter. I would like to be so bold as to suggest there is not a lot of real factual evidence to back up your claims at all.

The good thing is, it's not too late to change, you just have to want to bad enough. So give it a go. It may feel uncomfortable at first, you may start to feel those old beliefs creeping back into your head. Blow them away, dust down the cobwebs of negativity and believe in yourself once again. I know you can do it and you need to know it too.

You see, I know that it works, I did it for me. I shrugged off my old beliefs and started afresh. I still fail, but I learn and move on and if people don't like the new positive me...I stick marbles up their nose.




Trainer Bubble provide lots of training course materials on personal development. The author of this article, Andrew Wood, is the owner. Visit today and view all of our free training resources and training course materials.

Understanding People's Behaviour - Banging Your Head Against a Wall?

I just came home to find my 13 month old son giggling loudly to himself whilst banging his head against the living room wall. My immediate response was to say, "Son, you're an idiot." and only once I'd managed to distract him from this pain inducing activity did I consider the possible consequences of my words.

Maybe this one time I was right to call him an idiot. Certainly banging your head against a wall is not the action you would expect from a sound mind. However, let's consider I call my son an idiot consistently over the next few developmental years. The likely outcome is.......an idiot.

You see everyone's behaviour is driven by their own self-image, and that self-image is built around the adult influences they receive in their childhood. These influences come not only from parents, but grandparents, uncles, aunts, teachers, sports coaches and pretty much anyone that they have regular contact with.

It is these influences that create our attitudes and ultimately our behaviours. For example; somebody that has always been told that they should stand up for themselves may ultimately become aggressive when placed in a stressful situation. Or somebody that is encouraged to always share and make others happy may develop a need to please people and will display submissive behaviour at times. I experienced this last type of behaviour with an old colleague of mine. Whenever we held a meeting he would wonder why he always walked away with more action points than anyone else!

Think about your own experience. Is there something you believe about yourself, which has been influenced by others? You may find that hard to do, as these beliefs have become a part of you and are shaping your behaviour all the time. However, they are there in all of us in varying forms.

Now, these drivers are not in themselves a problem. We all need drivers in our life, without them we would not achieve anything. It is when these drivers become negative or destructive that issues arise. There may have been times in your own experience where a person’s behaviour has seemed out of control or perhaps it was just that their driver was conflicting with yours.

So what can you do?

One thing you have to accept is that every person’s behaviour makes perfect sense to them at the time. Nobody sets out to make their life difficult and often it is because they feel they have no alternative in the given situation. No matter how bizarre the person’s action seems, it is rarely something they have manufactured.

Now you know that these drivers exist. The best thing you can do is start to identify them in yourself. Realise when you are being driven by an inner desire to react in a certain way and prepare for it. Once you know why you might be acting in a certain way, it becomes a lot easier to adapt and understand the consequences in an effort to minimise their impact.

Next, be prepared to spot behaviour drivers in others. If you can tell that they are being driven by an inner belief, consider how you might be able to have conversations that will provide antidotes. Often we do not consider how we present a message before we do so. Taking a little time to consider how the message is going to be received can really save a lot of time in the long run…otherwise your just banging your head against a wall.

You can find training course materials that help you get the best out of people from our website www.trainerbubble.com.

Ten Rules for a Successful Life

Why are some people more successful than others? Is it just that some people get all the luck and that’s just the way it is? Or is there more to it? Gary Player the famous golfer once said, “The harder I work, the luckier I get” and I think this statement has a lot of truth to it. I believe that success is a mindset and if I’m right, then that means that anyone can achieve it.

If you listen carefully to people you will notice that they become very adept at providing reasons for their ‘bad luck’. It’s the upbringing, the schooling, the boss, the partner and many other reasons including the fact that there are not enough hours in the day (eh?). I’m of the opinion that these limiting beliefs are a way of avoiding the simple truth; some people just don’t want it enough. It’s a lot easier to sit in your lazyboy chair and proclaim to the world that you didn’t get the breaks, than it is to get up and do something about it.

Now I’m not saying that everyone should want to be the best at everything they do, but I do think that those people who decide to live life in the slow lane forego their right to complain about it. If you really care that much then it’s up to you to change things.

So for those people that want to get out of the rut and move on in life, I’ve put together ten rules. If you follow them, I see no reason why success shouldn’t follow.

1. Nobody else is to blame for the way you are. Those things that happen to you (good or bad) simply create choices. You are a product of your own making.

2. The world owes you nothing. If you want the stars, buy your own ladder and climb. Nobody will give you a leg-up.

3. Thinking is not doing. Good luck rarely comes to the inactive. Hard work is a dream-maker.

4. Failure is progress. Every mistake is a step closer to success, as long as you learn from it.

5. Focus on the important things in life. If you spend too long worrying about the small things, that’s all you’ll end up with.

6. Take pride in what you do. There’s no shame in thinking positively about yourself. If you don’t love you, nobody else will.

7. Celebrate success. If it goes right, shout it from the roof-tops. You can learn from good stuff too.

8. Take what works and build on it. If you find success in one area, model it and apply the learning to other areas.

9. Stick with it. There will be moments when it all seems too much like hard work, that’s when you’re getting closer.

10. Share your success with others, there’s enough to go around. Successful people work together and build winning relationships.

There you have it, ten simple steps to achieving your dreams. So stop looking for reasons not to succeed and start working towards your goals. I’ve never once heard an elderly person complain about the things they did in life, but I’ve heard a few regrets about the things they didn’t.

Visit Trainer Bubble now, where you will find two great training resources on Success; 'Make a Difference to Your Life'and 'Think Your Way to Success'.

Can't, Won't, Can, Do - Chance of Success

Managing Performance - High Performers

High performers stand out in any organisation. They consistently exceed expectations, and are management’s go-to people for difficult projects because they have a track record of getting the job done. However, managing high performers presents a different set of challenges in itself. Just because you often find your high performers working independently, with little need for direction or supervision, it does not mean that you can just leave them to it.

Just as with average performers, it is important to understand and appreciate the values and motivation of high performers. Only by doing this will you be able to effectively manage their work and ensure you consistently get the most out of them. You should also set clear boundaries and outcomes for the high performer who will need to be clear how they should approach work that they are likely to do quite independently.

Some of the key tips on guiding high performers are…

• Give lots of feedback as to desired outcomes. Then allow the high performer to work towards these targets without too much input from yourself although still allowing for opportunities to review how they are progressing.

• Let the high performer know the boundaries within which you expect them to work. It’s ok for them to strive to do things differently in order to be more effective, but this should not be at the expense of processes and procedures.

• High Performers want to be inspired by the leadership, not managed. Try not to micro-manage their work and get in the way of their progress.

• Encourage the high performer to work with others. Not only sharing their expertise, but also understanding the challenges others face. A high performer should be prepared to collaborate with others to drive results.

• Be prepared to challenge high performers - You can do this by providing new opportunities or projects to get involved in. This will help keep them engaged with the organisation and reduce the chance that they will get bored.

 

• Praise, but don’t over-praise. Of course the high performer needs and deserves praise. However, if this is overdone it can lead to the high performer over-valuing their worth and becoming complacent. It can also build feelings of resentment within the team, which leads to poor performance in others.

This is a short excerpt from the Trainer Bubble training course materials for 'Managing Performance', which you can purchase from our website at www.trainerbubble.com

 

Interview Skills - PRICE model

Effective interviewing is vital part of the selection process.  This means that we need a consistent approach that is both professional and efficient.

One reason that consistency is important is that we must ensure that all candidates we interview are given a fair opportunity. 

We believe that one way to achieve consistency is to use a structured approach. 

The approach we recommend is ethical and fair and you will be using it in a way designed to put interviewees at ease so that they feel confident to talk to you. It is also very effective at collecting quality information to help you make the best possible decision. This approach is called the 'PRICE' Model.

Prepare

The key to effective interviewing is good preparation and planning.  Skip this stage or prepare inadequately and it is unlikely that the interview will be effective.

As a minimum you should be setting the criteria you expect successful candidates to meet and the questions you need to ask to help you assess whether they meet those criteria.

We also advocate preparing a question plan to use as the basis of questions you will ask all candidates.

Rapport

At the start of the interview the aim should be to establish the right level of rapport with candidates.  It is important to remember that you are using the interview to obtain good quality information from candidates.  Put them at ease and they are much more likely to talk freely.

Interview

Think of an interview as a structured conversation. The role of the interviewer is to give direction to that conversation by asking appropriate questions.  

The aim should be for the candidate to do most of the talking and the interviewer to do most of the listening during this phase.

Close

Candidates must be given the opportunity to ask any questions of their own. Remember, they will also be using the interview to assess whether they want to work for you. 

At the end of the interview the interviewer should explain the next steps in the selection process and when and how the candidate will be contacted.

Evaluate

After the interview the interviewer needs to evaluate the information collected against the criteria established during the preparation phase.

 
This is a short excerpt from the Trainer Bubble training course materials for Interview Skills. Find out more about this and many of our other great training course materials at www.trainerbubble.com.

Communicating Change

Good communication is crucial when implementing a change. The most common error made by organisations communicating change is that they ‘tell’ people what the change is and how they should go about implementing it.

Effective communication is the central factor in managing change.  Openness and honesty, seeking feedback, recognising people’s contribution, delegation and teamwork are some of the main characteristics of good communication.   Effective communication is essential to build trust, motivate your people and establish confidence, particularly during times of change.

Principles

• Be as open as you can and tell the truth - this is your most powerful tool
• Build a powerful and compelling case by being:

Brief                - Well articulated

Clear               - Qualitative and quantitative

Credible          - Prepared with the facts

Compelling     - Create activities through effective communication channels

• Be creative - you need your audiences’ attention before you get their intention
• Tune in to different stakeholder groups’ needs and preferences
• Focus on the benefits of change

Benefits

Some of the benefits of effective internal communication are:

•  Good communication processes help people to understand where they fit in the big picture, or, in other words, how their job and team contributes towards achieving the organisation’s goals.

• Good leaders are often good communicators - great communication skills and practice helps leaders set direction and maintain morale. They appear credible to their team.

• People who know how their job contributes to the organisation’s goals know what’s important about what they do and can direct their efforts accordingly.  They also feel better motivated to do a good job. Hence they’re more productive.

 

• They have more opportunities to speak up about concerns, as well as ideas and suggestions.  A more trusting relationship can be created with colleagues and managers, given persistence and time.

•  Since your people are the organisation, if they’re well informed and motivated, it stands to reason that the company’s external reputation can only benefit. 

• It also stands to reason that good communication can help you manage the negative impact of change.

• Change is never easy to deal with, but good communication makes it easier for people.  They understand what’s going on, why, and (as far as possible) how it will affect them.  It won’t make them like change, but people will feel more comfortable, and better able to continue with their day job while change happens.

This is a short excerpt from the Trainer Bubble training course materials 'Planning for Change'. You can find out about these and our other training course materials at www.trainerbubble.com

Managing Conflict

Disagreement and conflict are perfectly natural occurrences in any organisation or team where people care about the issues. In fact, you should probably worry where conflict does not occur as it could mean that your employees do not care enough about the job.

Of course, no matter how usual conflict is, it can still be very difficult to deal with and can cause stress and concern for even the best manager. However, if you learn how to handle conflict effectively you can significantly reduce the frequency and seriousness of any disagreement.

Disagreement and conflict can be a really positive starting point for creating new ideas and developing different ways of working. Some useful tips to consider are…

Never Avoid

 

Conflicts are how priorities get set and decisions get made. It allows communication around issues that might otherwise get neglected and cause negativity and underlying tensions. A good manager will embrace negativity and use it to develop their interpersonal skills and create an inclusive culture.

Depersonalise It

Don’t take conflict personally, even if the person causing the conflict means it that way. Focus on the interests and issues involved and resolve things from that perspective.

Detach Yourself

Take an unemotional approach to the issues and observe from a detached position. If you lose your temper, you will lose credibility and people will not respect any decision you then identify. You may have some very strong feelings inside and want to explode, but remain focused and stay calm on the outside.

It can be tempting to use your power as a manager to make a unilateral decision quickly when conflict occurs. You should explore the position of those involved in the conflict and try to truly understand the viewpoints of those involved before you respond.

There will be times when conflict does become emotional and come to be difficult to deal with. When this occurs, the following simple model can help to diffuse situations and ensure you approach the problem positively.

There is a temptation to move straight to resolving a problem when conflict becomes emotional. However, this is rarely the best method of reducing the conflict as the individuals emotions will always get in the way. Therefore, you must first diffuse the person’s anger by providing empathy to their concerns. This means really seeing things from their point of view and stating that.

Once you have defused the emotions and demonstrated that you understand you can move on to agreeing what the problem is without the emotional element attached. This helps you to resolve the way forward.

 

At this point it is probably worth reminding ourselves of the old saying, ‘Win a friend, not the argument’.

 

 

This is a short extract from the 'Managing Performance' training course materials, which are available from the Trainer Bubble website. Visit www.trainerbubble.com today to find out more.

 

 

Blue Eyes, Brown Eyes Experiment - Diversity & Equality

We were delighted to come across this video clip recently, which perfectly demonstrates how division occurs in society. We think it would make a wonderful clip to use during training on diversity or equality issues.

Ms. Jane Elliott's "brown eyes, blue eyes" experiment in 1970 (the third one after her first in 1968). This "Eye of Storm" documentary was made by William Peters in 1970 for ABC News and later included in the documentary "A Class Divided" (1985), which included a class reunion (of 1984.)

The most telling moment is when Russell used "brown eyes" as a derogatory term to call John a name, only a couple of hours through. Though, the experiment was too short to allow it to get to the point when a "brown-eyes" person does so to another fellow "brown-eyes" person.




This clip would fit perfectly into any training course based around the topic of Diversity and Equality or where you need to highlight issues around Culture, Race and Religion.

The Four P's of Marketing

Marketing involves a wide range of activities and it is easy to see that it affects everything that a business does. In fact, effective marketing must be linked to all of the functions of the business. A key reason for this is so that all marketing efforts and activities across the organisation align with its goals.

A classic approach by John Kotler divided marketing into 4 aspects known as the 4 Ps. This is also referred to as the marketing mix by some people.

The 4 Ps of Marketing

The four elements of the marketing mix do not work in isolation but are interdependent of each other.

Product: There is no point in developing or acquiring products that nobody wants to buy. It is also important that products are reliable and meet the requirements of customers.

Price: A product is only worth what customers are prepared to pay for it. Customers will also want value for money. It can help to think of price in terms of ‘cost’ to the customer.

It is also important to remember that the price must provide a profit for the business.

Place: The place where customers can buy the product and the means of delivering it are also important. These must be convenient to the customer. In simple terms, products must be available to customers at the right place, at the right time and in the right quantities.

Promotion: This is the way in which a business communicates with its customers to tell them what it can and does offer. Communications may include advertising, public relations, information contained in packaging, branding and many other activities.

These communications must be consistent and provide customers with reasons to choose your products and services. Of course these communications also need to be accurate. If you make claims about your products and services it is important that they live up to those claims.

The Extended Marketing Mix

Most marketers recognise that the quality service customers receive is just as important as the product itself. Recent thinking is that the 4P’s of marketing should be extended to take account of this and that there are three other elements to consider. This extends the marketing mix to 7P’s.

This is sometimes known as the ‘extended marketing mix’. This is particularly important in service industries where there is no physical product (for example banking and insurance).

These three elements are added to the 4Ps in the extended marketing mix.

People

Processes

Physical Evidence

People: Customers judge a service based on the employees they interact with. Our people are essential to providing a service to our customers. It is important to recruit the right people with the right attitudes to customer service. It is also important that they are properly trained. They must have the right knowledge and skills (including interpersonal skills) to ensure that they provide a first class service.

Processes: It is of little use having excellent people working for you if your systems and procedures stop them from providing the service your customers deserve.

• Do we keep customers informed?
• Do they know how to use our products and our service?
• How do we deal with payments and refunds?
• Is it easy for our customers to contact us?
• What do we do when our service goes wrong?

Physical Evidence: This is important when a pure service is being sold. This is because it is not usually possible to experience a service before it is delivered. For example, if you buy an insurance policy you don’t really know how good the service is until you have to make a claim. This means that it can be difficult for customers because they are buying something intangible. The risk involved in this can be reduced by helping customers to see what they are buying.

There are a number of ways in which marketers provide some form of physical evidence to help overcome this. These include:

• Case studies and customer testimonials
• Brochures, catalogues and other documents
• Free trials


This is a short extract from the Trainer Bubble training course materials for 'Marketing Essentials', which can be purchased from our website at www.trainerbubble.com