An outcome is a goal that you develop in such a way that conforms to your subconscious mind. A goal is usually quite general, whereas an outcome is specific to the individual and provides a very clear understanding of what to do. The structure of an outcome should activate our personal resources in such a way that it becomes actionable.
Going through the six questions creates a detailed internal representation in your mind - an important step in creating a belief in your objective. It may not be necessary to go through all of the questions for every objective. Use your discretion and apply the questions that are appropriate at the time.
1) State you outcome positively
You need to be very clear about what it is that you want so that you can remain focused. You should be precise about what you want as ambiguous definitions will not provide you with the direction you need. If you say, ‘I want to be happier’, then a good joke might suffice! However, if you were to say, ‘I want to lose 2 stone’, the intention is clear.
You should also avoid negative statements as your brain cannot process them. If you say, ‘I don’t want to work here anymore’, all your subconscious can here is, ‘work here’. If you start to think, ‘I don’t want…’ consider what you do want instead and write that as your outcome.
A useful technique when coaching is to ask the coachee what the present situation is and follow this up with what the desired future outcome is.
Where are you now? Where do you want to be?
2) State your outcome in sensory terms
The term representational system refers to how we use our five senses of smelling, tasting, hearing, seeing and feeling to represent or experience events. Everyone has a preferred representational system; some are more visual others are more feelings based. Consider what you will see, hear, feel and so on.
As a coach you should quickly establish the preferred representational system of the coachee and adapt your language to suit.
3) Evidence Procedure
Evidence procedure is another way of asking ‘How will you know that you have achieved your goal?’ The following questions should help you to understand this.
How will I know that I have achieved my outcome? What will I be doing once I have achieved it? What will I see, hear, feel etc. when I achieve it?
4) Is it ecological?
This stage is to ensure that the outcome fits in with all areas of your life. You should consider how it will affect your career, family, health etc. What will be gained? What will be lost?
5) Is it self initiated and are you in control of it?
It may be that someone else wants you to change, but it’s really not something that you want. Of course the likelihood of you achieving your outcome in this case is lessened and so you should ensure that the outcome is driven from within.
You may also find that you achieving your outcome is not solely in your control, this could make it difficult for you to achieve your outcome. Try the following questions to help at this stage.
Who is this outcome created for? Is the outcome solely down to me to achieve?
6) Is the context clearly defined?
The context is the way your outcome will happen. When, where how and with who do I want this? Asking these questions will help you define steps that need to be taken to achieve your outcome.
7) What resources are needed?
What people, knowledge, skills, attributes do you need to help you reach your outcome? Some questions to consider…
What resources do I currently have? What resources do I need to acquire? Have I achieved anything like this before? What can I learn from that? What if I act as if I already had the resources I need?
Using this process will ensure you achieve effective results each time.
This is an excerpt from the training course 'Coaching with NLP', which you can purchase and download from our website at Trainer Bubble.
Showing posts with label nlp. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nlp. Show all posts
Monday, 6 August 2007
Wednesday, 4 July 2007
Ten Rules for a Successful Life
Why are some people more successful than others? Is it just that some people get all the luck and that’s just the way it is? Or is there more to it? Gary Player the famous golfer once said, “The harder I work, the luckier I get” and I think this statement has a lot of truth to it. I believe that success is a mindset and if I’m right, then that means that anyone can achieve it.
If you listen carefully to people you will notice that they become very adept at providing reasons for their ‘bad luck’. It’s the upbringing, the schooling, the boss, the partner and many other reasons including the fact that there are not enough hours in the day (eh?). I’m of the opinion that these limiting beliefs are a way of avoiding the simple truth; some people just don’t want it enough. It’s a lot easier to sit in your lazyboy chair and proclaim to the world that you didn’t get the breaks, than it is to get up and do something about it.
Now I’m not saying that everyone should want to be the best at everything they do, but I do think that those people who decide to live life in the slow lane forego their right to complain about it. If you really care that much then it’s up to you to change things.
So for those people that want to get out of the rut and move on in life, I’ve put together ten rules. If you follow them, I see no reason why success shouldn’t follow.
1. Nobody else is to blame for the way you are. Those things that happen to you (good or bad) simply create choices. You are a product of your own making.
2. The world owes you nothing. If you want the stars, buy your own ladder and climb. Nobody will give you a leg-up.
3. Thinking is not doing. Good luck rarely comes to the inactive. Hard work is a dream-maker.
4. Failure is progress. Every mistake is a step closer to success, as long as you learn from it.
5. Focus on the important things in life. If you spend too long worrying about the small things, that’s all you’ll end up with.
6. Take pride in what you do. There’s no shame in thinking positively about yourself. If you don’t love you, nobody else will.
7. Celebrate success. If it goes right, shout it from the roof-tops. You can learn from good stuff too.
8. Take what works and build on it. If you find success in one area, model it and apply the learning to other areas.
9. Stick with it. There will be moments when it all seems like too much hard work, that’s when you’re getting closer.
10. Share your success with others, there’s enough to go around. Successful people work together and build winning relationships.
There you have it, ten simple steps to achieving your dreams. So stop looking for reasons not to succeed and start working towards your goals. I’ve never once heard an elderly person complain about the things they did in life, but I’ve heard a few regrets about the things they didn’t.
Visit Trainer Bubble now, where you will find two great training resources on Success; 'Make a Difference to Your Life' and 'Think Your Way to Success'.
If you listen carefully to people you will notice that they become very adept at providing reasons for their ‘bad luck’. It’s the upbringing, the schooling, the boss, the partner and many other reasons including the fact that there are not enough hours in the day (eh?). I’m of the opinion that these limiting beliefs are a way of avoiding the simple truth; some people just don’t want it enough. It’s a lot easier to sit in your lazyboy chair and proclaim to the world that you didn’t get the breaks, than it is to get up and do something about it.
Now I’m not saying that everyone should want to be the best at everything they do, but I do think that those people who decide to live life in the slow lane forego their right to complain about it. If you really care that much then it’s up to you to change things.
So for those people that want to get out of the rut and move on in life, I’ve put together ten rules. If you follow them, I see no reason why success shouldn’t follow.
1. Nobody else is to blame for the way you are. Those things that happen to you (good or bad) simply create choices. You are a product of your own making.
2. The world owes you nothing. If you want the stars, buy your own ladder and climb. Nobody will give you a leg-up.
3. Thinking is not doing. Good luck rarely comes to the inactive. Hard work is a dream-maker.
4. Failure is progress. Every mistake is a step closer to success, as long as you learn from it.
5. Focus on the important things in life. If you spend too long worrying about the small things, that’s all you’ll end up with.
6. Take pride in what you do. There’s no shame in thinking positively about yourself. If you don’t love you, nobody else will.
7. Celebrate success. If it goes right, shout it from the roof-tops. You can learn from good stuff too.
8. Take what works and build on it. If you find success in one area, model it and apply the learning to other areas.
9. Stick with it. There will be moments when it all seems like too much hard work, that’s when you’re getting closer.
10. Share your success with others, there’s enough to go around. Successful people work together and build winning relationships.
There you have it, ten simple steps to achieving your dreams. So stop looking for reasons not to succeed and start working towards your goals. I’ve never once heard an elderly person complain about the things they did in life, but I’ve heard a few regrets about the things they didn’t.
Visit Trainer Bubble now, where you will find two great training resources on Success; 'Make a Difference to Your Life' and 'Think Your Way to Success'.
Sunday, 25 February 2007
Understanding People's Behaviour - Banging your head against a wall?
I just came home to find my 13 month old son giggling loudly to himself whilst banging his head against the living room wall. My immediate response was to say, "Son, you're an idiot." and only once I'd managed to distract him from this pain inducing activity did I consider the possible consequences of my words.
Maybe this one time I was right to call him an idiot. Certainly banging your head against a wall is not the action you would expect from a sound mind. However, let's consider I call my son an idiot consistently over the next few developmental years. The likely outcome is.......an idiot.
You see everyone's behaviour is driven by their own self-image, and that self-image is built around the adult influences they receive in their childhood. These influences come not only from parents, but grandparents, uncles, aunts, teachers, sports coaches and pretty much anyone that they have regular contact with.
It is these influences that create our attitudes and ultimately our behaviours. For example; somebody that has always been told that they should stand up for themselves may ultimately become aggressive when placed in a stressful situation. Or somebody that is encouraged to always share and make others happy may develop a need to please people and will display submissive behaviour at times. I experienced this last type of behaviour with an old colleague of mine. Whenever we held a meeting he would wonder why he always walked away with more action points than anyone else!
Think about your own experience. Is there something you believe about yourself, which has been influenced by others? You may find that hard to do, as these beliefs have become a part of you and are shaping your behaviour all the time. However, they are there in all of us in varying forms.
Now, these drivers are not in themselves a problem. We all need drivers in our life, without them we would not achieve anything. It is when these drivers become negative or destructive that issues arise. There may have been times in your own experience where a person’s behaviour has seemed out of control or perhaps it was just that their driver was conflicting with yours.
So what can you do?
One thing you have to accept is that every person’s behaviour makes perfect sense to them at the time. Nobody sets out to make their life difficult and often it is because they feel they have no alternative in the given situation. No matter how bizarre the person’s action seems, it is rarely something they have manufactured.
Now you know that these drivers exist. The best thing you can do is start to identify them in yourself. Realise when you are being driven by an inner desire to react in a certain way and prepare for it. Once you know why you might be acting in a certain way, it becomes a lot easier to adapt and understand the consequences in an effort to minimise their impact.
Next, be prepared to spot behaviour drivers in others. If you can tell that they are being driven by an inner belief, consider how you might be able to have conversations that will provide antidotes. Often we do not consider how we present a message before we do so. Taking a little time to consider how the message is going to be received can really save a lot of time in the long run…otherwise your just banging your head against a wall.
You can find training course materials that help you get the best out of people from our website www.trainerbubble.com.
Maybe this one time I was right to call him an idiot. Certainly banging your head against a wall is not the action you would expect from a sound mind. However, let's consider I call my son an idiot consistently over the next few developmental years. The likely outcome is.......an idiot.
You see everyone's behaviour is driven by their own self-image, and that self-image is built around the adult influences they receive in their childhood. These influences come not only from parents, but grandparents, uncles, aunts, teachers, sports coaches and pretty much anyone that they have regular contact with.
It is these influences that create our attitudes and ultimately our behaviours. For example; somebody that has always been told that they should stand up for themselves may ultimately become aggressive when placed in a stressful situation. Or somebody that is encouraged to always share and make others happy may develop a need to please people and will display submissive behaviour at times. I experienced this last type of behaviour with an old colleague of mine. Whenever we held a meeting he would wonder why he always walked away with more action points than anyone else!
Think about your own experience. Is there something you believe about yourself, which has been influenced by others? You may find that hard to do, as these beliefs have become a part of you and are shaping your behaviour all the time. However, they are there in all of us in varying forms.
Now, these drivers are not in themselves a problem. We all need drivers in our life, without them we would not achieve anything. It is when these drivers become negative or destructive that issues arise. There may have been times in your own experience where a person’s behaviour has seemed out of control or perhaps it was just that their driver was conflicting with yours.
So what can you do?
One thing you have to accept is that every person’s behaviour makes perfect sense to them at the time. Nobody sets out to make their life difficult and often it is because they feel they have no alternative in the given situation. No matter how bizarre the person’s action seems, it is rarely something they have manufactured.
Now you know that these drivers exist. The best thing you can do is start to identify them in yourself. Realise when you are being driven by an inner desire to react in a certain way and prepare for it. Once you know why you might be acting in a certain way, it becomes a lot easier to adapt and understand the consequences in an effort to minimise their impact.
Next, be prepared to spot behaviour drivers in others. If you can tell that they are being driven by an inner belief, consider how you might be able to have conversations that will provide antidotes. Often we do not consider how we present a message before we do so. Taking a little time to consider how the message is going to be received can really save a lot of time in the long run…otherwise your just banging your head against a wall.
You can find training course materials that help you get the best out of people from our website www.trainerbubble.com.
Tuesday, 6 February 2007
Don't lose your marbles - Make a positive difference to your life.
I've never been one to get over losing easily. In fact, I distinctly remember pushing a marble up my brother's nose as a dirty faced 8 year old because he beat me at Ker-plunk. Not that I was any good at the game, I just didn't have the patience for it.
Maybe that's what makes losing so hard to take, knowing that you didn't really have the skill to win in the first place and you are just kidding yourself to even try.......
Of course the paragraph above is absolute piffle. However, it is the same message that is played in a lot of people's minds every single time they fail. The truth is, failing should be seen as a positive, a chance to grow, an opportunity. Losing just takes you another step closer to getting it right (as long as you learn from it).
That's a lot easier said than done, I hear you cry, and you're right, but that doesn't mean we should stop trying. I can think of many things I've 'lost' throughout my life; football matches, card games, driving tests, job interviews and that special first date with Claire Martin in class 4c. At the time they all affected me in their own little way (particularly Claire Martin in class 4c, but I don't want to go into that right now), there was nothing fun about the loss and there shouldn't be. What matters is what happens afterwards.
Henry Ford once said "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right".
When I first read that quote I think I re-read it five or six times. It's not the easiest statement to make sense of, but it's one of the truest things I ever read. It sums up, for me, the fact that so many of us allow our beliefs to become our drivers and eventually these drivers become 'us'.
Stop and think about yourself and how many restrictive beliefs you have developed that are stopping you from really achieving what you want to in life. Go on, do it, stop, right now...and think.
Now consider where those beliefs came from. How much truth do they really hold? Now, now, don't start making excuses, or backing up the data with weak support...truly consider the facts of the matter. I would like to be so bold as to suggest there is not a lot of real factual evidence to back up your claims at all.
The good thing is, it's not too late to change, you just have to want to bad enough. So give it a go. It may feel uncomfortable at first, you may start to feel those old beliefs creeping back into your head. Blow them away, dust down the cobwebs of negativity and believe in yourself once again. I know you can do it and you need to know it too.
You see, I know that it works, I did it for me. I shrugged off my old beliefs and started afresh. I still fail, but I learn and move on and if people don't like the new positive me...I stick marbles up their nose.
Take a look at 'Make a Positive Difference to Your Life' a course developed by the Trainer Bubble team. The feedback from trainer's that have used it has been inspirational. It's only £53 for the complete course materials.
Maybe that's what makes losing so hard to take, knowing that you didn't really have the skill to win in the first place and you are just kidding yourself to even try.......
Of course the paragraph above is absolute piffle. However, it is the same message that is played in a lot of people's minds every single time they fail. The truth is, failing should be seen as a positive, a chance to grow, an opportunity. Losing just takes you another step closer to getting it right (as long as you learn from it).
That's a lot easier said than done, I hear you cry, and you're right, but that doesn't mean we should stop trying. I can think of many things I've 'lost' throughout my life; football matches, card games, driving tests, job interviews and that special first date with Claire Martin in class 4c. At the time they all affected me in their own little way (particularly Claire Martin in class 4c, but I don't want to go into that right now), there was nothing fun about the loss and there shouldn't be. What matters is what happens afterwards.
Henry Ford once said "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right".
When I first read that quote I think I re-read it five or six times. It's not the easiest statement to make sense of, but it's one of the truest things I ever read. It sums up, for me, the fact that so many of us allow our beliefs to become our drivers and eventually these drivers become 'us'.
Stop and think about yourself and how many restrictive beliefs you have developed that are stopping you from really achieving what you want to in life. Go on, do it, stop, right now...and think.
Now consider where those beliefs came from. How much truth do they really hold? Now, now, don't start making excuses, or backing up the data with weak support...truly consider the facts of the matter. I would like to be so bold as to suggest there is not a lot of real factual evidence to back up your claims at all.
The good thing is, it's not too late to change, you just have to want to bad enough. So give it a go. It may feel uncomfortable at first, you may start to feel those old beliefs creeping back into your head. Blow them away, dust down the cobwebs of negativity and believe in yourself once again. I know you can do it and you need to know it too.
You see, I know that it works, I did it for me. I shrugged off my old beliefs and started afresh. I still fail, but I learn and move on and if people don't like the new positive me...I stick marbles up their nose.
Take a look at 'Make a Positive Difference to Your Life' a course developed by the Trainer Bubble team. The feedback from trainer's that have used it has been inspirational. It's only £53 for the complete course materials.
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